[Tweeters] Ant's On My Pants

Jeff Gibson gibsondesign at msn.com
Fri Apr 1 05:18:41 PDT 2016

After many years of marriage I'm once again living alone now, here in Port Townsend. However, as any perceptive creature knows, you're never really alone - not on this planet anyhoo.
Yup, it's quiet here in the wee-wee hours of the AM, me and my computer , which has an annoying spellchecker that continues to inform me that anyhoo is not a real word. What is real, anyhoo? How about the natural history of my little studio apartment.
I just walked about five steps over to the door, which I opened to the loud sound of chorusing frogs out in the fog. Frogs in the fog - how unlonely is that. They are wonderful to hear. A few hours earlier the sky, in this nicely un-light -polluted neighborhood, showed bright stars, which was nice. There are probably zillions of sentient beings out by those stars,and some, looking our way, may well be wondering "what's going on in that twinkle over there?".
Well, one thing we got going on is ants - and plenty of 'em. If you need a roommate , try an ant- they are very quiet. When my frog door is closed, and with double-paned windows, my place is very quiet. But not quiet enough to hear an ant.
Yes, I share space with ants. I am not an Antologist ( annoying spelling checker just insisted on 'anthologist') and don't know exactly what my little ant associates are species-wise. All I know is that they are very small - 2 millimeters long , or a bit less. They have been here all winter, wandering all over our place. Hey, it's not like there's hoards of the tiny things, but not too many moments go by around here without a tiny ant wandering by, including on my laptop as I write these Tweeters posts. Now you know.
Perceptive readers probably noted the title of this post is " Ant's ON my pant's", not "Ant's IN my pants". For some funny bunny reason, my little ant pals have never got into my pants, just on 'em. Actually, I've only ever had one ant in my pant's.
That was way back in 1978 when I was on a trail crew working on Thunder Creek in North Cascades National Park, performing my role as a long-haired -and- stinky trail- working hippy ,and I had just walked up to a lone hiker looking at a map near our crew camp - I just wanted to say hi.
Right at that moment, a very large Carpenter Ant, which had somehow crawled up my pant's without my noticing, clamped it's formidable jaws onto one of my testicles, and I, normally a shy and retiring fellow, instantly dropped my drawers and yelled some sort of non-tweeter-acceptable expletive as I removed the gnarly ant. The shocked hiker immediately left, and I could understand that completely. Just another wilderness experience I guess.
Jeff "Antsy" GibsonPort Townsend WA

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